What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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