What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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