What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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