What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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