What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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