What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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