What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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