What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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