What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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