What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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