What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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