What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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