What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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