What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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