What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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