What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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