What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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