What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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