What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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