What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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