What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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