What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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