What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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