What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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