What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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