What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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