What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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