What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs

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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy

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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986

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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.

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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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