What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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