What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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