What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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