What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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