What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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