What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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