What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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