What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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