What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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