What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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