What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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