What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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