What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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