What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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