What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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