What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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