What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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