What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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