What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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