What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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