What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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