What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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