What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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