What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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