What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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