What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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