What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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