What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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