What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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