What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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