What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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