What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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