What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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