What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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