What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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