What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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