What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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