What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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