What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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