What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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