What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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