What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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