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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
An offer you can't understand
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?
Cause your the only one Hair.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?
With igloo!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?
She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?
The Trump Card
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.
When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?
Use a pen.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?
Breaking up is hard to do.
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