What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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