What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.

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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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