What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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