What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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