What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.

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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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