What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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