What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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