What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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