What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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