What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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