What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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