What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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