What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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