What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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