What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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