What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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