What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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