What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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