What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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