What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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