What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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