What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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