What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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