What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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