What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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