What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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