What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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