What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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