What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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