What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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