What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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