What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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