What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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