What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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