What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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