What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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