What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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