What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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