What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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