What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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