What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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