What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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