What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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