What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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