What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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