What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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