What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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