What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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