What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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