What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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