What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.

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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.

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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish

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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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