What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!

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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.

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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.

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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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