What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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