What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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