What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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