What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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