What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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