What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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