What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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