What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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