What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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