What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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