What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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