What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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