What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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