What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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