What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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