What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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