What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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