What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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