What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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