What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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