What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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