What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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