What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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