What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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