What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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