What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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