What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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