What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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