What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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