What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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