What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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