What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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