What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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