What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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