What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.

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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.

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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.

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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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