What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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