What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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