What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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