What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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