What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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