What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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