What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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