What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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