What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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