What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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