What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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