What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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