What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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