What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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