What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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