What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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