What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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