What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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