What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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