What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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