What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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