What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car

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How many BBS jokers does it take to tell yet another LBJ?

1,622. One to tell the original joke, and the rest to submit give some minor variation of it! For example:

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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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