What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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