What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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