What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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