What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.

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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.

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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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