What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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