What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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