What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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