What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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