What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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