What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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