What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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