What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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