What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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A seal walks into a club...
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