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What do you give a lemon in distress?
Lemonade.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?
Taller
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date
but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?
A Flat Miner
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.
The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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I tried nutella on some salmon
got salmonella.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?
By relocating it to a casino!
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Where can you find a good lawyer?
In the cemetery
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