What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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