What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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