What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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