What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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