What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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