What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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