What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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