What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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