What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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