What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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