What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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