What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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