What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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