What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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