What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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