What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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