What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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