What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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