What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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