What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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