What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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