What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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