What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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