What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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