What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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