What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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