What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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