What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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