What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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