What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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