What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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