What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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