What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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