What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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