What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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