What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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