What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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