What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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