What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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