What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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