What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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