What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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