What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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