What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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