What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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