What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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