What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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