What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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