What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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