What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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