What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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