What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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