What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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