What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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