What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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