What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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