What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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