What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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