What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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