What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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