What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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