What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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