What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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