What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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