What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!

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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.

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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks

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