What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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