What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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