What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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