What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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