What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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