What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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