What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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