What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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