What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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