What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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