What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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