What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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