What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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