What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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