What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?

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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.

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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.

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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.

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