What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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