What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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