What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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