What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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