What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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