What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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