What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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