What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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