What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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