What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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