What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.

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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.

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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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