What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!

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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.

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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."

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