What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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