What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."

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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday

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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.

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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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