What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card

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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear

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