What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."

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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!

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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.

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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!

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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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