What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."

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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.

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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?

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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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