What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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