What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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