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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?
2 years old.
Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?
What? You can change light bulbs?
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What is Claustrophobia?
The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!
You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"
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Why did the doughnut shop close?
The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?
To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?
The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?
No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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