What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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