What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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