What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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