What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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