What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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