What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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