What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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