What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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