What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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