What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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