What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."

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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."

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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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