What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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