What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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