What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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