What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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