What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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