What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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