What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.

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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends

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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck

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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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