What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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