What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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