What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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