What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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