What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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