What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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