What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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