What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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