What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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