What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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