What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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