What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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