What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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