What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.

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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.

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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.

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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.

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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.

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