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What does a cat call a hummingbird?
Fast food.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?
Catillacs
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?
He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.
It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?
A Doberman.
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Slept like a log last night........
Woke up in the fireplace.
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What did one titration say to the other?
"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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