What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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