What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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