What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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