What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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