What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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