What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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