What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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