What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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