What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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