What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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