What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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