What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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