What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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