What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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