What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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