What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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