What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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