What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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