What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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