What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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