What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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