What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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