What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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