What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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