What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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