What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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