What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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