What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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