What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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