What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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