What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow

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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.

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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g

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