What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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