What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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