What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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