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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?
Me-ow
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?
None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?
Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?
A dino-sore
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What's a tree's favorite drink?
Rootbeer.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?
Use a pen.
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