What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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