What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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