What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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