What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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