What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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