What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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