What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck

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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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