What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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