What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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