What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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