What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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