What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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