What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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