What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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