What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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