What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.

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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.

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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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