What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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