What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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