What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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