What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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