What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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