What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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