What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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