What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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