What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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