What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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