What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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