What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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