What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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