What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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