What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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