What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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