What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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