What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
Canvas not available.

or


My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

Canvas not available.

or


What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
Canvas not available.

or


Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
Canvas not available.

or


How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
Canvas not available.

or


Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
Canvas not available.

or


What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
Canvas not available.

or


Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
Canvas not available.

or


So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
Canvas not available.

or






© Copyright crapjoke.com 2017-2026