What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!

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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.

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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.

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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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