What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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