What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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