What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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