What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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