What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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