What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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