What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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