What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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