What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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