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What does a skeleton say before dinner?
Bone appetit!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?
A rash of good luck.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?
Because he never pays his debts.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?
A natural major.
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Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you give a lemon in distress?
Lemonade.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with
but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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