What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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