What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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