What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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