What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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