What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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