What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.

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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!

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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.

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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.

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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.

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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom

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