What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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