What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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