What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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