What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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