What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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