What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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