What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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