What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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