What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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