What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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