What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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