What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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