What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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