What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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