What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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