What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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