What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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