What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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