What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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