What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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