What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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