What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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