What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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