What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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