What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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