What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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