What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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