What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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