What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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