What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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