What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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