What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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