What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.

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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.

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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986

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