What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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