What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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