What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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