What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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