What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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