A scale.
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Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
or