What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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