What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.

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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan

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