What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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