What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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