What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.

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