What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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