What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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