What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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