What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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