What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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