What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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