What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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