What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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