What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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