What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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