What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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