What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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