What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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