What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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