What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.

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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over

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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?

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