What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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