What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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