What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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