What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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