What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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