What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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