What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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