What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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