What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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