What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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