What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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