What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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