What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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