What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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