What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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