What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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