What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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