What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.

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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.

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