What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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