What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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