What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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