What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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