What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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