What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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