What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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