What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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