What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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