What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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