What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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