What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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