What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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