What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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