What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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