What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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