What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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