What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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