What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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