What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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