What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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