What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.

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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.

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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis

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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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