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What does GOP stand for?
Grabs Our Pussy.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?
Croak-a-cola.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?
Camembert.
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What does the toast wear to bed?
Jammies!
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Where do you get whales weighed?
At the Whale-weigh station.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.
Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?
He made an illegal ewe turn.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand
and says make me one with everything.
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