What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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