What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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