What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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