What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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