What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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