What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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