What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.


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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".

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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.

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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.

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