What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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