What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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