What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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