What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh

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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.

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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess

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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.

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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos

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