What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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