What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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