What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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