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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?
"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What did Delaware?
A New Jersey.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.
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What do you call a scared train?
A fright train!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?
A swordfish
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What do you do when your chair breaks?
Call a chairman.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?
Anywhere it wants to
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What did the boat say to the pier?
What's up, dock?
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