What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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