What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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