What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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