What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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