What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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