What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth

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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board

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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!

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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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