What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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