What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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