What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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