What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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