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What does new age music sound like played backwards?
New age music.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?
At forks in the road.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,
if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?
You're Hired.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
2 Na
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?
They were sitting on the deck!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?
When the door is open.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!
If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"
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