What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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