What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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