What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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