What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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