What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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