What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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