What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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