What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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