What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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