What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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