What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.

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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.

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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.

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