What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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