What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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