What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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