What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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