What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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