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What does new age music sound like played backwards?
New age music.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?
Cheeses of Nazareth.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then
*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?
Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?
Because it's two tired!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?
His heart wasn't in it.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?
A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?
You crack me up!
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