What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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