What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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