What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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