What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?

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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.

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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas

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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?

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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!

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