What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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