What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.

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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.

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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.

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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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