What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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