What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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