What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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