What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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