What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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