What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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