What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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