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What does Santa like to do in the garden?
Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?
His heart wasn't in it.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?
The space bar!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
Because you can see right through them!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.
Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?
Put him in the front seat.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?
Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?
Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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