What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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