What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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