What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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