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What does Santa like to do in the garden?
Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.
It's a total rip-off.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
Plug its nose.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?
With flood lighting.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,
but I don't want one of them for my husband".
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?
All of them
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
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