What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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