What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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