What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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