What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.

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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.

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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit

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