What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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