What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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