What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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