What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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