What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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