What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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