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What does the winner of the race lose?
His breath.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?
Silent night!
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What do Santa's elves drive?
Minivans.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?
You can count on me!
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Which reindeer likes to clean?
Comet
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?
A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What did one volcano say to the other?
I lava you.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?
The baaaahamas
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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