What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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