What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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A seal walks into a club...
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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