What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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