What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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