What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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