What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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