What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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