What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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