What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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