What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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