What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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