What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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