What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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