What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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