What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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