What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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