What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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