What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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