What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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