What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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