What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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