What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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