What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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