What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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