What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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