What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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