What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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