What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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