What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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