What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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