What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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