What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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