What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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