What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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