What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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