What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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