What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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