What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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