What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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