What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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