What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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