What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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