What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.

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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison

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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.

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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.

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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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