What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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