What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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A seal walks into a club...
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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