What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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