What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.

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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore

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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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