What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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