What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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