What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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