What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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