What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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