What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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