What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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