What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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