What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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