What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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