What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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