What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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