What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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