What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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