What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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