What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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