What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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