What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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