What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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