What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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