What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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