What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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