What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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