What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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