What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.

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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

Itís Hans free.

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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.

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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.

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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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