What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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