What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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