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What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?
"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
2 Na
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.
Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?
A piano.
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What did the dog say to the flea?
Stop bugging me!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?
Because he never pays his debts.
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