What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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