What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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