What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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