What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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