What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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