What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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