What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.

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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon


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