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What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
Take your foot off his head.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50
Senator.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?
Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?
An in-car-nation.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.
It’s Hans free.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?
Ant-elopes!
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