What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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