What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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