What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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