What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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