What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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