What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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