What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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