What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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