What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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