What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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