What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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