What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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