What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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