What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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