What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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