What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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