What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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