What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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