What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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