What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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