What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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