What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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