What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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