What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.

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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?

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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.

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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g

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