What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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