What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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