What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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