What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.

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