What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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