What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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