What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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