What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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