What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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