What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.

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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.

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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights

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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"



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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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