What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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