What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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