What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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