What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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