What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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