What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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