What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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