What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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