What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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