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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?
A fence.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?
Sandy Claws.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
It's time to go to sweep.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?
Sir.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?
They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
That isn't funny!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.
It’s Hans free.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?
Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?
The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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