What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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