What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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