What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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