What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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