What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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