What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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