What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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