What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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