What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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