What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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