What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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