What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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