What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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