What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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