What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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