What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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