What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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