What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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