What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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