What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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