What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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