What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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