What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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