What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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