What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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