What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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