What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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