What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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