What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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