What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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