What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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