What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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