What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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