What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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