What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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