What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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