What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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