What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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