What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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