What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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