What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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