What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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