What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.

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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.

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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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