What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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