What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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