What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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