What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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