What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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