What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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