What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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