What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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