What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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