What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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