What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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