What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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