What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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