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What goes under your feet and over your head?
A jump rope.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?
They were sitting on the deck!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?
Laboratory Retrievers
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How are elephants and trees alike?
They both have trunks
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?
Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?
In their Sleevies!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?
Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?
Flood lights!
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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