What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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