What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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