What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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