What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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