What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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