What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.

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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)

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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.

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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year

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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T

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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g

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