What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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