What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.

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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over

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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.

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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.

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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.

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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!

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