What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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