What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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