What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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