What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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