What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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