What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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