What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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