What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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