What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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