What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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