What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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