What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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