What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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