What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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