What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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