What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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