What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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