What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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