What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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