What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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