What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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