What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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