What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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