What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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