What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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