What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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