What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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