What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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