What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet

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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.

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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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