What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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