What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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