What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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