What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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