What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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