What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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