What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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