What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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