What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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