What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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