What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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