What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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