What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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