What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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