What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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