What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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