What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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