What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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