What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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