What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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