What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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