What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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