What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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