What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.

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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison

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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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