What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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