What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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