What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.

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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"

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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.

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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks

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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?

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