What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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