What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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