What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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