What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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