What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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