What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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