What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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