What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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