What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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