What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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