What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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