What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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