What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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