What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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