What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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