What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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