What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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