What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?

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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.

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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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