What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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