What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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