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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
He felt funny.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?
Sandy Claws.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?
Quark!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?
Because he wanted to tie the score!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?
With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?
By renaming it Trump University.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?
Alley cats.
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