What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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