What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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