What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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