What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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