What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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