What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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