What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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