What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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