What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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