What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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