What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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