What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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