What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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