What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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