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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?
He was in shock for a week.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?
A dead centipede.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?
I'm outtie here!
Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?
Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?
They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
He got Avogadro's number!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.
but enough about Kanye West.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?
Croak-a-cola.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
Their lips are moving.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?
No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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