What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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