What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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