What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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