What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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