What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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