What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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