What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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