What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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