What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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