What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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