What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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