What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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