What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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