What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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