What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.

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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?

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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth

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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.

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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.

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