What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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