What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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