What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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