What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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