What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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