What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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