What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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