What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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