What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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