What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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