What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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