What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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