What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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