What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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