What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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