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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?
He was in shock for a week.
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What's black and white and red all over?
A newspaper!
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?
He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
OH SNaP!
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What do planets like to read?
Comet books!
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?
A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What would you call a humorous knee?
Fun-ny!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.
I can hardly contain myself.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?
Mice krispies
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