What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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