What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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