What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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