What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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