What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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