What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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