What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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