What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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