What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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