What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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