What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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