What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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