What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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