What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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