What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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