What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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