What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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