What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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