What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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