What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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