What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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