What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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