What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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