What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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