What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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