What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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