What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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