What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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