What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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