What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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