What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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