What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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