What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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