What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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