What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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