What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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