What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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