What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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