What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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