What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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