What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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