What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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