What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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