What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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