What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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