What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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