What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".

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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.

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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.

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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.

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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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