What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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