What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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