What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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