What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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