What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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