What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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