What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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