What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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