What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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