What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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