What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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