What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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