What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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