What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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