What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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