What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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