What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.

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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.

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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)

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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".

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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.

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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.

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