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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?
He decomposes.
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Slept like a log last night........
Woke up in the fireplace.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?
A waist of time!
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?
Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Where do you go to find a million story building?
You go to the Library!
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?
When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?
Donald Trump.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?
Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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