What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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