What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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