What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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