What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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