What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck

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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.

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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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