What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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