What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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