What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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