What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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