What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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