What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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