What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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