What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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