What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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