What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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