What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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