What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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