What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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