What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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