What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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