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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?
He decomposes.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?
It might be your bicycle.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?
To get a mini soda
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?
A taxi driver.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,
he's bisatchel.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis
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Why did the cow cross the road?
Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
Because you can see right through them!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?
Take away his shovel
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?
He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.
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