What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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