What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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