What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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