What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!

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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.

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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"



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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.

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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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