What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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