What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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