What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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