What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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