What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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