What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.

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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.


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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!


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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine

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