What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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