What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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