What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!

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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.

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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.

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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.

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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.

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