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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?
Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?
New age music.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What did the dog say to the flea?
Stop bugging me
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Why did the strawberry call 911?
It was in a jam!
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Why did the cow go to outer space?
To visit the milky way.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?
It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?
Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How do you catch a tame bird?
The tame way, unique up on it!
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Why are babies good at soccer?
Because they dribble!
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