What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.

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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.

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