What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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