What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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