What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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