What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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A seal walks into a club...
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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