What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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