What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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