What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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