What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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