What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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