What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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