What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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