What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.

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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!

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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.

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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.

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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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