What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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