What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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