What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.

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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.

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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.

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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang

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