What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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