What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!

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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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