What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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