Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.
or
One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
or
Terrorists have sympathizers
or
Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
or
He was booked for a salt and battery.
or
The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
or
Just one more, guys, I promise.
or
Hair Force One!
or
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
or
and says make me one with everything.
or