What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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