What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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