What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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