What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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