What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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