What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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