What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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