What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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