What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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