What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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