What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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