What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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