What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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