What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.

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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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