What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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