What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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