What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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