What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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