What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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