What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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