What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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