What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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