What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.

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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.


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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!

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