What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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