What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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