What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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