What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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