What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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