What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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