What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis

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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!

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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...

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