What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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