What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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