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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?
A river.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.
Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?
Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?
We make perfect cents.
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Where are sharks from?
Finland.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?
Feyonce
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What music does cheese listen to?
R & Brie.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?
A bed.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?
I scream!
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Where do you go to find a million story building?
You go to the Library!
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