What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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