What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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